Lockdown 1.0 was pretty cruisy for me. My daughter went to Far North Queensland with her Dad and I had the luxury of eight weeks to myself – the longest period of time I’ve ever had alone. Once I got my head around my revenue shrinking to almost zero, I revelled in the time available for personal reflection and growth. Plus, I had a gorgeous new boyfriend to enjoy.
This time, I have another gorgeous new boyfriend but not much else is the same. Mala is here with me, I’m busy with client work and the only moment I have alone is in the shower. There’s no other adult to help out and parenting a child with an intellectual disability, ADHD and the attendant behavioural issues in lockdown is a f&#king punish.
If you’re facing a similar challenge, you might enjoy my survival tactics.
I would love to be one of those people who was really outdoorsy, loved running and didn’t drink much. Unfortunately, I’m someone who loves food and wine and prefers to power down with a lazy day reading the papers or a good book, and sitting in the sunshine talking about everything and nothing. To avoid dying young, becoming obese and ageing in pain, I put considerable effort into exercising regularly and moderating my eating and drinking. Success in these areas also gives me regular dopamine bursts as the pleasure/reward centres in my brain fire.
In lockdown, I’ve decided to focus on 1 good habit – daily, vigorous exercise – so I can chase short-term relief with booze and food, mostly guilt-free.
I could feel things brewing last week so I decided to have a meltdown in style. One very large martini and half of a bottle of red created the perfect condition for me to lose it after Mala poked this bear one too many times. I love a bit of drama so I slid down the wall and sobbed loudly. It was perfectly timed for an audience with the new BF too. What a great way to show vulnerability and enjoy the comfort of your new partner’s embrace! The endorphins and oxytocin that get released with a good cry do wonders, with their effects still felt through to the next day.
I’m incredibly lucky to be doing reasonably well financially so I have outsourced cooking to The Dinner Ladies, cleaning to an amazing cleaner and homeschooling to Lindamood-Bell. I’m also recruiting a special needs teacher for Mala who I will hopefully bring on board to add to the homeschooling team. That means we eat well, enjoy a clean house for at least an hour and don’t destroy our relationship by trying to home school.
If you’re going to spend hours watching tellie, you may as well do it in comfort. We’ve pushed our two couches together so they resemble a big mattress in the middle of the living room with sides (ie the back and arms) to keep us cosy inside.
The sedentary life of lockdown makes me more creaky than usual. And I’m a big believer in not suffering. So I went to the osteo and rebooked for 2 weeks. Do it!
For me, there’s no better source of content that calms me than the Waking Up app. My favourite series at the moment is The Path of Insight by Joseph Goldstein. Here’s his talk on The Nature of Thoughts and Emotions. Listening to this creates space in my heart.
What are you doing to stay sane and have a laugh?